i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
