so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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