I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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