i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
