He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
where are my eyebrows?
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