Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
