So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It's blow job season.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
