I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
