dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
