I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Randomize
