it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
