covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
