to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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