i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I am mentally ready for anal.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
