that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
