i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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