Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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