giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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