you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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