I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
