I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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