What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
