it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
