I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
