Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize