actually, I'm a sock model
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
