i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
