By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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