He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
