the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
