careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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