if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Randomize
