They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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