Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
