This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
