I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
How external is "for external use only"?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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