guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize