everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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