from now on my penis is your penis
thus making me awesome and them whores
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
