And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize