I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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