only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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