i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
