singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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