Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
