Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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