I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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