if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Panties = found
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