worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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