Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
jump out the window naked night went bad
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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