i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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