DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
smell my finger.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
