Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
