I could have mohawked her pubes.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
