The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
