dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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