I have demons in me.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
