I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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