The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Fuck appropriateness.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
