dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
