found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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