I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
